Lost in the hopes of being found
by CharmingCanary
Summary: Kim is boring, she has no friends, no social life, and no desire to do anything about it. She likes it this way, it's what she used to. At least, that's what she tells herself. After discovering a secret her mother has been keeping, her struggle becomes unbearable. But with the help of new friends, and her biggest crush, she starts to shine.
1. Kim

Hey everyone, I hope you like my first JaredxKim story. I've been working on it for a really long time and have quite a few chapters out. Unlike my other story, this one had a fairly solid plot, which means I will probably be uploading more frequently.

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Big hazel eyes, shaped like almonds, stared back at me. My eyes were framed by straight cut bangs, drowned out by large cheek bones, and surrounded with dark, long eyelashes. I sighed, and pulled away from the mirror, throwing my wispy hair into a quick braid. My small stature swam in the thick, grey hoodie I'd donned. I left my room and went into the large, spacious kitchen downstairs. As usual, both of my parents fancy black cars were gone. A half finished mug of coffee was in the sink and bread crumbs on the counter. They had been through here already. I popped my self in two pieces of bread to toast for my normal PB, and banana sandwich.

Opening the fridge, very empty shelves met my eyes, mocking me with the task of filling them. I grabbed the orange juice and took a swig from the carton, not bothering with a glass. My parents would scold me for lack of manners, but they were never around to do so.

Breakfast packed, orange juice finished, and teeth brushed I grabbed my winter coat, and the rain jacket for over top to start the walk to my school from our place. I didn't have a car yet, and I probably never would. My parents never supplied me with things, and I never had it in me to asked.

The screen door shut behind me and my keys jingled in the door. Cold wind whipped my face as the sun started to lighten the sky. It was the middle of January; the sky didn't illuminate until 8:00, that is, if it isn't overcast.

I set off, leaving my large house behind me. Our house was on the very edge of the reservation, in the middle of an acreage. It was an ancient, run down barn when it was originally bought 23 years ago. The original house owners had been quite wealthy, and they bought this old barn and built a house out of it. Now, there was a wrap around porch, large windows, and an extravagant front door, which opened into a very large space. The kitchen was to the left, and a bathroom and the living room to the right.

Between the living room and bathroom, there was a hallway that lead to various rooms and a stair case to the second floor. There are four rooms and two bathrooms on the second floor. Then a hidden stair case up to the attic. I hated it. The house was never warm and it was always empty. The three of us didn't use hardly any of the rooms. Even the living room was barely touched.

The sound of my feet hitting wet gravel and puddles was drowned out once I hit the main road. I ate my breakfast as I walked, not enjoying the damp weather. A vehicle rushed passed me at a fast rate, not slowing down as they passed. I wondered what would happen if I stepped one foot left. Would people swerve to miss me, or would I fade into the background and get hit? Would anyone care to stop for me? I glanced up from under my hood to see the nothingness of my life. I couldn't wait to get out of here. See the sun all the time. Build a place for myself in the world.

My feet hit the solid steps of the school entrance just as the bell went. I picked up my pace not wanting to be late... again. This would be the third time in the past two weeks, and said if I was late to one more lecture he would call my parents. Skipping my locker I made it to the door just as it was about to close. scowled from under his bushy eyebrows and reluctantly let me in. I sat in the back, glad no one took the time to notice my hurried entrance. The sound of gossiping students, filled with clicks of girls all talking about what to wear and hot guys, bombarded my ears. Abby Lance-Stevens had recently done the do with Allen Parker, Thomas had punched the Pokemon obsessed freshman in the face, ect...

The first half of my day was... boring, to say the least. Being the quiet nobody makes one, unintentionally, a listener of every conversation. The only thing mildly exciting was my art class, where called out one of the 'clicky bitchy' girls for picking on Sally-Margret, who sat beside me. The prissy girl threw a fit and stormed out. It almost made me chuckle. She had been bullying Sally-Margret since September.

At lunch, I went to sit out side, in the rain. No one ever came out when it rained, which I liked. I was able to escape the constant unnecessary noise that surrounded me and fogged my brain. My hands were slowly going numb from the cold as I ate my sandwich, sitting on the sidewalk curb, watching the rain splash against the wet pavement and the little streams crawling towards the culvert.

Lunch ended and I went to history, where I sat beside Jared Cameron, who, typically, slept through the whole block. He was dreamy. Having a crush on him since 3rd grade made school worth it. But that, Jared and I, was never going to happen, so I tried not to dwell on it. Instead I focused on note taking and listening to musical voice take the class on a journey through time. It was my favourite class.

During PE, Queen 'bitchy clicky' was back to bother Sally-Margret.

"Oh, my gosh! Guys did you see Sal-Mals A cup bra? I mean, it's no wonder she doesn't have a boyfriend yet. She looks like she's twelve." Rebecca said very, and I mean very, loudly to her friends, and then fake laughed. All of the guys snickered and I saw hurt in Sally's eyes.

Without thinking, feeling a rush of anger, I straightened my back and marched over to Rebecca. There was something boiling in side of me, as if I'd been stung with the anger dwelling inside me.

"Rebecca?" I asked from behind her. She turned and took me in with surprise.

"Uh- hi." She said obviously not knowing my name.

"You are being mean to Sally-Margaret and I think you need to stop." Her laughter filled the room.

"I'm sorry. This doesn't involve you," her voice went from sickly sweet to deadly, "So back off."

"No it doesn't involve me. But bullying isn't a joke, so I think you're the one who should back off." My voice was quiet, but also deadly. I was proud of myself for not stuttering.

Rebecca looked shocked that someone would say that to her, so did all the people around her.

"I'm- I'm not a bully!" She cried out, but all the people who had once been laughing were now awkwardly turning away.

"I was not bullying her!" Rebecca turned to me. Her voice had changed from embarrassed, and desperate, to resentful and strangely confident.

"I wasn't a bully. I can't believe you, calling me a bully. What I said wasn't even that bad-" I cut off her rant. Sick of listening to her.

"Enough Rebecca! I'm sure you have a good reason for doing this. Is it because your insecure, or do you think it makes you look cool, makes you look better? It doesn't. I don't care about what your reason is, if it's making you bully someone you should get help. So stop being a bitch. No one deserves to be picked on." I turned away but felt her grab my shoulder.

There was anger in her eyes, I'd obviously hit a nerve.

"You have no idea how much of a living hell I will make your life." She whispered through clenched teeth. I was the only one who heard. Then with a loud laugh and a fake smile, "You are so funny!". An awkward chuckle came from the crowd, but I shook it off and walked towards Sally-Margaret.

"Are you ok?" She nodded.

"You really didn't have to do that." She said, but a watery smile broke out on her face.

"I know I didn't have to, but she was annoying me. I've been listening to her drama since ninth grade, and I think it's time someone called her out. Besides no one should be bullied."

"Well, thanks, for standing up for me... Kim." Sally-Margret then surprised me and pulled me into a hug. Awkwardly my arms went around her.

"Really it was nothing- I-I just know she's been picking on your lately."

"How do you know that?! I never see you anywhere!" I shrugged, but there was a smile on my face.

Instead of using my spare, the last block of my day, to finish all my assignments, I headed out early, backpack full of textbooks, to started the walk home. I easily slipped into a quick walking rhythm, although my head was killing from Rebecca spiking a volley ball at it. I was home quickly, thanks to the break in the clouds. The house was cold so I grabbed a blanket and used the last of the cocoa powder to make hot chocolate. I finished all my homework by four.

Easing into bed that night, about ten o'clock, I heard my dads slick black hummer pull into the driveway. He and mom worked all the way in Port Angeles. He was a lawyer, and she was a real estate agent. I heard him coming up the stairs, and then my bedroom door quietly opened.

"Kim, are you awake?" As much as I wanted to pretended to be asleep, I didn't.

"Yes, you can come in."

"I got an email from your chemistry teacher today." He said. I could feel myself stiffen. said he wouldn't email my parents if I showed up on time!

"Kim? Did you hear me?"

"Yeah, I heard." He came and sat down on the edge of my bed turning on the lamp light. I sat up to face him, shivering when the cool air hit my body.

"The email said you have been showing up late for class. Kim, is there something you want to tell me? You aren't hanging out with the wrong people are you?"

"No Dad. I've just been sleeping in a little later then usual is all."

"Are you sure?" His voice was laced with doubt.

"Yes, I'm positive." This conversation with my Dad felt awkward. It actually seemed like he cared about my well being, which was unusual.

"Well," Never mind, here it comes, the reason of his concern. "If you're sure. I don't want you to get involved with the wrong people and lose your chance at a scholarship to Harvard university." There it was, the big catch. The only part of my life my parents showed any interest in... my grades. If I didn't get into Harvard I was nothing. They wanted me to be some sort of engineer.

"I'm sure Dad." I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but I could only feel the warm tears in my eyes.

"Ok Kim. Goodnight." He got up from my bed and started to walk away.

"Hey Dad?" He stopped.

"Can I move my room into the attic?" I knew the attic was empty, my parents weren't the kind of people interested in collecting junk. When my Nana was alive, she used to live up there, but mom had taken all if her belongings to the junk yard the day after her funeral.

I heard my Dad let out a long sigh. "I guess you can, but we won't be around to help you."

"That's ok." _It's not like you're around for anything else_, I thought. "Thanks. Goodnight." My door closed once again.

"Wait,- Dad?"

"What is it Kimberly?" He peeked back in the door, annoyed.

"We are almost out of groceries."

"Oh! Kim you know your mother and I don't always have time to go grocery shopping. I'll leave you a hundred on the counter to get what you need." Then, he was gone.


	2. Secrets

_A/N: Hope you like my next instalment of my story! Sorry if it seems kind if boring so far, but by the time Jared is introduced there will be a lot going on!_

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A misplaced sound echoes through my mind as the clutches of sleep slowly fade away. My eyes open, and my heart rate increases slightly, as it does every time my alarm startles me from a deep sleep. As the memory from the night before begins to replay through my mind, I make sure not to hit the snooze button. I couldn't tell what hurt more from him, him being my father: his obvious show of mistrust, or his irrational concern over my grades. To say I was feeling paranoid, about waking up on time, about my strained relationship with my parents, or about how damn cold I am, was an understatement. At least my Dad talked to me on occasion, I thought as I sat up in bed. I couldn't remember the last time I had a real conversation with my Mom.

When I stepped out of bed, me feet hitting cold wooden floorboards, I was surprised to see the sun. There were no clouds in the sky. My stomach fluttered. Feeling the rays of sunshine on my face, and seeing the way the light caught on the crystallized water covering the view before me, had me itching to reach for my paint brush. My eyes darted around frantically, trying to absorb every refined detail and enhanced colour of the stunning visual landscape before me. I hadn't seen the sun in two week, as the constant rain and snow, not unusually for this time of year, blocked the warm rays. Despite my 'talk' last night with my Dad, something about the clear cerulean sky left me feeling happy. I pulled my gaze away from the window regretfully, and began to get ready for my day. I was anxious now to get outside and take in the silent beauty that the fresh snow had undoubtably provided. At first, I whistled while I made breakfast, but the way the unusual sound echoed through the house had a shiver crawling up my spine. That tune died out pretty quickly, as I was reminded of the loneliness this house breathed.

Still plagued with thoughts of my day yesterday, I thought, hopefully, about talking to Sally-Margret again today. The hundred dollar bill Dad said he would leave out was on the counter, so I grabbed it. I decided to skip the rain coat today, instead opting for an extra sweater. Hopefully the clear sky would last the day, and I wouldn't have to walk home in a snowstorm, or cold rain. I left the house with a bounce in my step, excited by the mist of my breath. The only disturbance in the snow was a set of tire tracks, left by my Dads vehicle as he left for work early this morning.

I was half way down the driveway before I realized my mothers black Sedan was in it, hidden by a fresh blanket of snow. I wondered why. Was she sick? I decide to go back into the house and make sure she was okay.

"Mom..?" I yelled into the empty house as I opened the front door. The way my voice echoed left me wondering if she had simply caught a ride with my Dad in his bigger, four wheeled drive hummer. Immediately that idea was squashed out. My parents had never carpooled to Port Angeles in all my life. The amount of times they stayed late meant that there was no such thing as punctuality.

"MoooOOOOooom?" I yelled again, now stepping into the house. There was no answer. I run upstairs, slowed down by all of the layers I was wrapped in, positive she must be sick. She never sleeps in, and hadn't missed a day of work since my Grandmothers funeral.

"Mom..?" I said knocking on her bedroom door. The sound muffled from my gloves. I peer into the dark room to see her figure moving in the sheets. I must have woken her. My hand shakes as it slides along the wall, looking for the light switch in the dark room, something about the situation feeling off. I flip on the light switch to see her and... Mr. Braun? Both of them tense, and my stomach drops, but not in the same way it had when I'd taken in the view from my room this morning.

"Mom?" I question. My voice sounds weak and dead. "What are you doing, why is my teacher in your bed? And Dads bed? You're cheating?" I draw a conclusion to the obvious out loud. Her head shoots up, and a spark of something flares behind her eyes. Guilt, maybe? But as quickly as it appears, it is gone, replaced by annoyance. "How could you?" I feel tears in my eyes.

"Kim!" She sounds angry, although I don't know why. I should be the one who's angry. But instead of feeling angry, I feel deflated. Like this is somehow all my fault. "Can't you see I'm a little preoccupied!" She sternly says to me, her eyes narrowing into a glare. My chemistry teacher awkwardly clears his throat, his face about as red as mine feels. "I thought I raised you with better manners! Apparently not."

"Does Dad know about this?" I say quietly, unable to meet the look of disappointment on her flushed face. My eyes glued to the floor.

"No, he doesn't know Kimberly! Now get out. I don't have to explain myself to you, and you better not tell him or you're dead." A chill ran down my back, and I bolted from my spot in the doorway. The large, hallow house suddenly feeling very claustrophobic.

It was then that I left, the sunny day ruined for me. I feel ill the whole way to school, thinking I'm going to be sick. The cold air does nothing but encourage the shivers of failure that rake up and down my body. That's what I felt like; a failure. If only I'd been a better daughter, mom wouldn't need to find comfort from someone else. If I'd been more engaged after my Grandmas death, maybe my parents wouldn't work so much. I press the tears away, knowing that crying won't make what I've done any better. I force a smile as I walk along the quite road to school, maybe she's happy being with _him_. If she is finding happiness that I couldn't provide, then I should be happy for her. By the time I arrive at school, I'm a sweaty, sticky mess, although I don't really understand why. I blame the shock of realizing that my mom isn't happy. I go to my locker and pressed my forehead against the cool metal, seeking relief from my pounding headache. The sounds of chatter from the school hallways was increasing my agitation. Slowly, as the cool metal numbed my forehead, the sounds of chatter faded into the background.

"Kim!" A loud voice came from no where, like a freight train in my right ear, and I startled. "Hey- oh my, you don't look so good." Sally-Margret said sliding up next to me. She had two other girls trailing behind her.

"I-I'm fine." I say, straightening myself and taking a deep breath to calm my racing heart.

"Are you sure? You don't want to go home?" At the mention of home I blanched. No, I didn't want to go home. A nagging thought in the back of my head reminded me that I didn't know where home really was. I pushed it down, shaking my head as if to erase the memory.

"No, no I'm good." I say to Sally-Margret. "Home is the last place I want to be Right now actually. Um, so who are your friends?" I was desperate to change the subject, trying to ignore the guilt welling inside me, and the two other girls With Sally-Margret seemed like a good distraction.

"Well, okay?" Sally seems hesitant to drop the subject. I must look pretty terrible, I think. After a moment, she takes my bait, her hesitance shifting to excitement.

"Kim, these are my friends." She gestures to the girls behind her. "This is Karla, and Cera." I nod and give them a smile, not wanting to shake their hands, as mine was clammy and accompanied by a slight tremble. Karla and Cera were both very pretty girls. I notice. A spark of insecurity lights inside me, but I smother it as best I can. Again, I take in how they look, standing among the crowd of kids in the hallway. Blending in with russet skin, but standing out as individuals. Karla has crazy curly, chestnut hair with big brown eyes and a strong jaw line, her russet skin, dark and red. Cera on the other hand, appears quite light, her chocolate hair, broad nose, and creamed coffee skin were a striking contrast against her charcoal black eyes.

"It's a pleasure." I said and nod again.

"Maggie told us what you did yesterday to Rebeca! That is amazingly awesome and I think you need to be our best friend! She has dirt on everyone at this school, anyone who has the guts to stand up to her is alright by my books." Karla speaks, her voice low and whimsical, with a slight raspiness. What she says is something I barely grasp, the idea of acceptance something very foreign to me.

"Uh... Thanks?" I didn't know if that was an appropriate answer, but it's all I could think to say.

"I think you were very brave." Cera says, the sound of her voice rather soft and high, compared to Karla. The way the words are pronounced by her soft mouth gives me a clear message. Her words are well thought out, and a reflection of her gentle nature. I shrug again, not used to so much attention. My face undoubtably reflecting the embarrassment I feel inside, the heat I feel in my face confirmation to me.

"Are you sure you are feeling okay?" Sally-Margret asks again after the high shriek of the warning bell rings. "Because we can walk you to your first class if you want?" I'm about to decline, when in remember I have Chemistry. The thought of seeing my chem teacher makes my stomach churn. The knot of anxiety pangs with the remembrance of this mornings events, and maybe something else. I don't know if I can look at him, knowing he had sex with my Mom.

"Actually, you're right, I'm not feeling so good." Sally-Margret looks surprised by my sudden change in attitude. "I'm just going to go to the nurses office and lie down for a while."

"I'm going that way... I can take you." Cera pipes up gently, lopping my arm in hers. She pulled me along to the office without saying a word, easily weaving between the mass of students all rushing to their first class. I decided I liked Cera, her presence was surprisingly calming.

"Mrs. Learson, my friend isn't feeling well." I smiled at Cera, shocked she would so casually call me her friend, and she smiled back. The unease I'd expected when Cera had first started dragging me to the nurse was non existent. Only having just meet her, I did felt like her friend already. Apparently the feeling was mutual.

When Cera left, I was asked if I wanted to lay down. I eagerly accepted the nurses offer, laying on the cot in the back of the room. Again, my suspicion of how bad I looked was confirmed, as she didn't ask to take my temperature, opting instead to place a cool cloth on my forehead. After asking if I needed anything, a ride home one of the many things on her list, she left me alone.

. . . . .

I jump awake at the sound of the bell, my limbs feeling heavy, and my vision and hearing slowly coming back into focus. I had no recollection of falling asleep, and, as I sit up from the cot, a dull ache begins to thump in my chest. A glance at the clock tells me I'd only been asleep for the fifty minutes it took for first period to end. I gathered my beaten down bag from the floor, and left for my second block class, no where in sight.

When second block ended I hauled my aching body off to English lit, where I stayed with my head against the desk the whole block. I was thankful, in this moment, of my anonymity. No one spared me a second glance, including my teacher. I pretty much did the same thing in Art, hunching over a half completed pencil drawing, my pencil leaving small, useless scratches on the picture before me. I couldn't even remember what it was I was supposed to be drawing, but the mindless work gave me something else to think about. Sally-Margret made small talk with me and got me a juice at some point during the block.

When lunch time rolled around, Sally-Margret pulled me with her to where she sat in the cafeteria. Which was relatively quiet today due to the transient sunshine. The three girls sharing the table with me, made idle small talk and encouraged me to go home, but, every time home was mentioned, I felt quite sick again. One of the girls casually mentioned that Mr. Braun had a substitute today. To them, the news was of little consequence, leaving no imprint, to me, it felt as if the very words were sinking deep into my bones, carving themselves into my being, into my essence. After that, the little I'd participated in the conversation ended.

"Kim!" Sally-Margret startled me from the graphic images running through my head. "I'm taking you home, okay? You just seem to be getting worse, and worse."

"Wait. What? No, no, Sally-Margret. I don't want to go home." I said, getting up from the lunch table to make a break for History. The girls all looked at me funny. Considering the warning bell wasn't due to go for another five minutes, I didn't blame them.

"Then I'll take you to my house! My mom is a nurse and is really nice and will take care of you. Also, you don't have to call me by my full first name. Just Sally, or Maggie, what ever you want really." I was trapped, I realized. The table the girls sat at was near the back corner, and now, I had no way to escape around Sally-Margret.

"But-History!" I protested, my thoughts on the boy who might possibly be asleep beside me. The thought was irrational, considering he had been absent since the previous Tuesday and I hadn't seen him all week. But a part of me still hoped to see him walk into class, slump down into his seat, and promptly fall asleep. It was a strange ritual, but one that I craved none the less. Something about sitting next to your crush of countless years left excitement racing through your veins.

"No. You are sick, come with me." Sally dragged me to my locker, no clue as to my reasons for protest, and then out to the parking lot. She gave me a look, daring me to say anything. I didn't. She then pulled us up to a small red Volkswagen rabbit, before shoving me into the passengers seat. We were at her place 5 minutes later.

"Mom! I'm home!" Sally yelled into the house. The smell of freshly baked bread and ground cinnamon entered my nose and made me feel slightly more relaxed. A fairly young looking woman entered into the large foyer. She looked exactly like Sally-Margret. Small, with short black hair, freckles, and large butterscotch eyes. The only difference between the two, was the grey streaks in hair.

"Hello Duckie. You're home early?" She said, wiping her hands on a dish towel. "Who's your friend?" She asked.

"Mom, this is Kim. She wasn't feeling well and didn't want to go home. So I brought her here."

"Okay, well, that's fine. Just get her comfy on the couch and I'll bring you some lemonade." Sally dragged me to the couch and pulled a blanket over the two of us, turning on the T.V.

"You wanna watch some Netflix?" Sally asked me. I shrugged, and she put on the first episode of the vampire diaries.

"So Kim, I don't really know you that well. Do you have any hobbies?" I blushed. Sally was being so nice to me.

"Um, yeah. I surf and draw."

"That's cool. Who taught you to surf."

"Uh-my Dad. When I was young. He doesn't surf anymore."

"Well that's co-" she got cut of then by her mother putting down two glasses of lemonade. Who makes lemonade it the middle of January?

"Thank you, Mrs. Jenkins." I said with a mumble.

"Kim, please, call me Jane."

"Okay." I said again. Giving her a smile.

Me and Sally spent the rest of the afternoon watching 'The vampire diaries' on Netflix, and she gushed about how "hawt" Damon was, who ever that was. Needless to say I was feeling greatly improved when five of her siblings walked in the door. The first was Alexander, a senior at our school who walked straight into the kitchen. As far as I knew he was dating Sabrina Klerk. Next was Nicole-Airabella, a sophomore. Isaiah came in next. He was in grade seven. Then Paisly-Winter, who was nine, and of course Nathan-Paddfeet, who was six, in grade one and missing three teeth.

Nicole and Paisly came to sit with us. They too voiced there opinion to me after we'd been introduced, about the "hawter" vampire. They both liked Stefan more (who ever that was!) The girls started arguing with each other and then Alexander walked in shoving an entire muffin into his mouth. He paused, rolled his eyes, and then voiced his opinion about the boy crazed girls. I'd expected him to say something along the lines of "You're gross," but when he said, "obviously Damon was the more attractive one and Paisly and Nicole are wrong" I almost spit out lemonade. Which made Paisly laugh so hard she fell off the couch. Isaiah came in and he did call us all gross, before going upstairs, while Nathan (Paddy) said he wanted to watch spongebob.

"Kim, right?" Alex asked once he'd swallowed all the food in his mouth. I nodded.

"Are you the girl who called Rebecca a bully in front of the whole 11th grade?" I nodded, and blushed. That was kind of a spur of the moment thing.

"Well, anyone who has the nerve to stand up to that bitch is my hero."

"Who's a bitch?" Nicole asked, prying her eyes from the T.V, suddenly interested in our conversation.

"Don't say the word bitch!" Sally scolded them from her seat beside me.

"Why is she a bitch?" Paisly asked innocently.

"What's a bitch?" Paddy asked.

"Rebecca is a bitch." Alex said to Nicole. Then Sally started to scold Paisly, and Nicole, and Alex. Of course now everyone was saying the word bitch. Even Paddy, who was just saying the word over and over laughing and screaming. Isaiah appeared at the top of the stairs and asked what all the bitching was about and then laughed so hard he tripped and fell some which made me laugh.

"Stop saying the word bitch!" Sally yelled.

"Only if you stop saying bitch, bitch." Alex responded.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch..." Paddy laughed.

"Sal don't be a bitch about the bitch thing." Nicole replied. The whole room echoed with the word 'bitch' and voices were gradually reaching shouting point. Then the door slammed and another voice was added to the yelling.

"Honey! Why is everybody saying bitch?"

It was at this moment I became deaf. The entire room stopped, and said "Dad!" all at once.

Then everyone ran at him except for Alex, who explained he'd just gotten home from a business trip to New York. I'd never seen such a well rounded family before. Once Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins had been briefed and explained to about the whole 'bitch' incident they laughed so hard that Jane cried. Then they explained to Paddy that 'bitch' was a hurting word not meant to be said and that no one should have said it. Then, when it was quiet, I was invited to dinner.

I unlocked the front door to my dreary home at about seven, locking it behind me. The house was dark, and empty, so I made my way to my room. I had a lot of fun at Sally's house. Sally, Isaiah and I helped with dinner, while Paisly made dessert. (She loved to bake) and we all laughed over roasted chicken, potatoes, sweet corn, and biscuits. Then we ate chocolate cake for dessert and I was praised when Sally told her parents that I'd stood up for her at school yesterday, which meant that I stuttered a lot and my blush never left. I entered my room, which was too chilled to have me take my coat off. Surprisingly I didn't have any homework, probably because I missed most of my classes, so I started to pack up my room for the move upstairs.

My Dad and mother arrived home at nine, surprisingly at the same time, and then went to bed. I finished packing up the majority of my things, and I too, went to bed.

The next three days went by in a blur. At home I finished moving all my stuff to the attic room, including my bed, which I had to disassemble in order to move it, and I got groceries on Wednesday. At school I sat with Sally, Cera, and Karla at lunch, never contributing much to conversation. I discovered that Cera, quiet, insightful Cera, had a crush on Sally's brother, Alex, who was dating Sabrina. Well I didn't discover so much as figure out. It seemed pretty obvious to me, not so much to the other two. Karla was in hyperactive mode almost all the time, and Sally was so kind that I was surprised that she didnt have a boyfriend.

Rebecca gave our little group constant glares, but I ignored them. Also, Jared, the boy of my affections since I was ten, was gone from history for the rest of the week. History wasn't my favourite class anymore. Neither was chemistry. A class I almost liked before, If not for Mr. Braun, who was screwing my mom.

On Friday, at lunch things got interesting with my new friends.

"Kim?" Karla said, getting my attention.

"Yeah?" I said, then stuffed my sandwich in my mouth.

"You never seem very happy when lunch ends why? You seem worried? Or anxious about something." I was shocked. I didn't think Karla the type to notice these things.

"Oh, it's nothing, really." I said blushing. All three looked at me weirdly.

"Uh huh, suuuure. Because the blush on your cheeks is telling me differently." Sally said. Then they all started gushing, and I cursed my supreme ability to turn cherry red at anything remotely embarrassing.

"Is there a boy she like in history with her?"

"Defs. But who...?"

"Tony?"

"Ew no one likes Tony, what about Paul?" They looked back at me.

"No way, too angry."

"You guys, I don't like anyone in history class." I said cleverly, because, well technically, Jared wasn't in history class at the moment. He was sick.

"So, you like someone not in history class?" Sally questioned.

"Who then?" Pestered Karla.

"Girls. Enough. I don't like anyone in school at the moment." They were all quiet for a moment before Cera spoke up.

"I know! What about Jared Cameron? He may go to school here, but he's sick or something. So technically he doesn't fall under the title of 'anyone in the school.'"

Then they turned to look at me, all getting super close. The three girls honed in on me, like they were starving animals and I just so happened to be carrying a juicy steak. Sweat broke out along my hairline, and I couldn't escape their intense stares. Again I cursed my uncanny ability to turn into a tomato.

"Um-uh. Could you please stop staring into my soul. You're making me uncomfortable." I finally relented.

"I knew it!" Karla cried, ecstatic.

"Okay, okay. So I have a small crush on Jared Cameron. But it isn't even worth it. I'm average, and he's..."

"He's...?" They all said.

"Well, he's Jared. He is never going to notice me."

"Sure he will Kim! I mean your kind, and you stand up for people and you have the prettiest eyes." Sally told me. Of course, I blushed.

"And not to mention, you got a little somethin' somethin' hidden in your baggy sweat shirt."

"Girls stop. I'm not out going, I just- That was a one time thing with standing up for you, Sally. I was sick of her annoying self centred gossip. And Karla, if your telling me I'm fat, thanks."

"Kim you aren't fat. I was referring to you D size breasts!" She said. Once her words hit me I sunk down in embarrassment. A few of the guys, sitting at various nearby tables, had turned up to look. I turned my hood up to block my red face, giving Karla my most evil glare.

"Say that any louder, and I'll hit you in the face."

"Hey it's not my fault your dense?"

"See, Sally! I'm not all of those things. I'm dense. No one likes a brick. So there is no way," my voice dropped to a whisper, " Jared, is going to like me." I could literally feel the heat of their stares.

"Kim, I think if you like Jared you should get to know him. There is no point in acting like you aren't good enough." Cera said.

"Okay. I'll talk to him. But only because your making me sweat with your intense staring!" The girls seemed satisfied with my answer and they left me alone to drown in my own embarrassment.

The bell rang at the end of the day and I was pushed out the doors with the mob of kids. A hand grabbed my elbow and pulled me to the side, I screamed in surprise but it was only Karla fishing me from the crowd.

"Hey Kim! Sally had to leave early to pick up her younger siblings but the girls and I were wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekend. We usually go to Cera's because she doesn't have any siblings." Instinctively, I felt my head turning to say no, but I stopped mid shake. All of my life I'd been turning people away, and these girls we being so kind to me, including me in their lives. I could at least try to do the same.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Karla squeezed.

"Yeah. Okay. I'd love to." I nodded and smiled. Karla squealed with excitement.

"Okay, so, we're meeting at Cera's tomorrow at 4:30. We're having pizza and junk food. Do you have any movie preferences?" I shook my head no.

"No? What, no you don't have any preferences, or no you don't like movies?" She asked. I cleared my throat. Talking alone with Karla was different. She talked a lot but also made sure you were constantly engaged with her.

"No, I do not have any movie preferences, I'm good with anything."

"Great, do you have a cell phone number so I can text you Cera's address?" Her crazy curly hair bounced with every word she said.

"No, actually I don't have a cell phone. But you can have my home telephone number. "You don't have a cell phone?" She asked bewildered, before abruptly moving on. "Okay. Whatever. What's your home number?" I gave it to her and she hugged me before heading to the parking lot. I shrugged to myself, still processing what had just haooened. Somehow Karla had managed to invite me over, and get my phone number, and disappear in thirty seconds. If there was one thing to say about Karla, it was her enthusiasm.

Mom's car was in the driveway when I arrived. I sighed, not wanting to face her. I snuck into the house as quietly as possible. She was in the kitchen doing something. I doubted it was the dishes because one, I did the dishes every night, and two, mom would never dirty her manicured hands doing the dishes. So I slipped past her and down the hall to the staircase.

"Kim!" She yelled in her falsetto voice. My shoulders tensed, and I slowly spun around to go see her. My wet sneakers squeaked against the floor.

"Yes, Mother?" I said upon entering into the spacious kitchen. She looked up from the veggies she was cutting and looked me up and down. He perfectly styled hair framing her scowling face.

"Oh God what are you wearing?" She looked disgustingly at the large grey hoodie and jeans I was wearing. I immediately went into defence mode. My jeans were tattered and worn thin around the knees. It's not my fault. I only had two pairs, and I've had them since I was 14. I hadn't grown since then.

"What are you wearing?" I asked in return. She had on a low cut champaign coloured dress, that pushed her boobs out, with a very high slit on either side of her thighs.

"Nothing... Anyways. That's not important. I want you to stay in your room tonight."

"What? Why?" My defensive demeanour fell and I was now questioning why I had to stay upstairs, in my cold room all night.

"Your father is working late and I'm having some friends over." I rolled my eyes.

"It's not my teacher is it?" I asked with disgust, face blanking at the thought.

"Kimberly Amelia Connweller! That is none of your fucking business. Now go to your room!" She snapped at me and turned red. Feeling tears in my eyes I ran up to the attic. I pulled out my homework, stifling my emotions.

I sat on my bed looking out the window, numb to emotion, watching for anyone to arrive. My bedroom was freezing, as always, and I was buried under a quilt. At 4:54 a fancy blue car drove by our house very slowly, which I found odd. Then, five minutes later, four men, none that I recognized, walked up the driveway. All of them were in suits, and were carrying briefcases. I scoffed. No wonder mom was wearing that dress.

By 7:30 my stomach was rumbling consistently, and I'd read ahead a whole chapter in history, taking notes I'd pre-determined we were going to be assigned. I was hungry and whatever my mother had cooked smelled delicious. Every so often the sound of laughter and the clang of dishes would reach my ears from three stories down. Tears pricked at my eyes and boredom at my mind. I'd finished all my homework for the weekend, and my room was too dark to draw in.

At about ten o'clock the sounds of laughter had changed. My mother and her 'guests' were no longer in the kitchen. So, silently, feet clad in two pairs of socks, I creeped down the attic stairs and onto the second floor hallway. I slid past my old room, and was almost to the stairs. When a loud, angry, shout penetrated my hear drums. I froze, shoulders to my ears. But then the noise happened again; I hadn't been caught. So where was the noise coming from? I paled, and collapsed against the stairwell wall.

It was coming from my mothers bedroom. The angry screaming wasn't angry at all, but lust filled. Those men weren't in the business I'd originally thought. I felt queasy, my appetite lost.

I ran down the stairs and through the surprisingly warm kitchen. I paused when I saw the thick stack of cash on the table. I grabbed it. There was $1100 of cash just laying around. With shaking blue fingers, I grabbed a $20, the smallest bill, and ran out the door with my scarf, gloves, hat, and coat. There was an old bike in the shed, and I knew it was faster than running. I shoved the bill into my coat, and took off on the rusty bike, begging the tears in my eyes not to fall. Once again, I'd been pushed aside by my Mother, and left to fend for myself. I rode, as fast as I could, just trying to get away. To get away from everything.

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Hope hoped you liked this chapter!

Please leave a review! They make me so happy!

xCCx


	3. Lost

_So last chapter we found out Kim's mother has been cheating, and has even gone so far as to hire some male company! Here is the next chapter. _

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Still numbed from the situation, I rode, in no particular direction. Just in the direction I knew to take me away from our house. Soon La push faded away, but the ominous cloud of anxiety, and hurt stayed around me no matter how fast I rode.

Rolling into central forks, I glanced at the illuminated green numbers of my watch. 11:28. I was exhausted and soaked in sweat. I hadn't stopped once to look back, too eager to forget my situation.

Spotting a 24 hour fast food restaurant, I turned off the road I was on and into the parking lot. The smell of greasy food hit my nose when I entered. The restaurant was brightly lit, almost too bright for my tired, red, swollen eyes, and my hands were trembling. One glance from the lanky, pale boy with a crooked nose, and I collapsed into a booth. My hood was drawn up and I placed my head in the crook of my elbow.

Slowly, my shaking abated, and my appetite returned. Stumbling to the counter I ordered a number three burger and coke. The boy with the acne and crooked nose took my order before going back to his chore of cleaning. While I waited, I went into the bathroom to wash my sticky hands. I was glad it was a one room bathroom. Large ones with stalls always made my stomach turn. Watching my hands become sudsy, the cool water almost felt warm against my chilled hands.

Eating my burger, I watched as two incredibly tall men entered the building, wearing t shirts and shorts...What? I did a double take and watched as they both ordered copious amounts of food before settling in a booth on the other side of the restaurant. There hushed voices reached my ears in the quiet restaurant.

"...not your fault, it could have happened to anyone." The first one said.

"But what... never forgives me?"

"Sam, if the effects...are anything... as strong for you as they are... forgive you."

"I hope your right Jared." My head snapped up. Did he say Jared? Glancing from beneath my bangs and hood, I see the two talking men. One with their back to me, and the other hunched over. I hate to admit it, but I'd know that back anywhere, it was Jared. Except, not. Jared looked, to say it simply, bigger. His back muscles were prominently defined, something that they hadn't been before. I recognized the man with him as Sam Uley. He was only a few years older than Jared and I, maybe 21? But he looked to be at least 40. His face was dragging, and there were bags under his eyes. To be honest he looked devastated. Something must have happened.

As if sensing me staring at him, his eyes shot up to meet mine. I quickly looked away and tensed up. I could feel his eyes boring into me.

"Time to go Jared." He said clearly. They both got up, and Sam walked right by my table, glancing down at me and meeting my eyes once again. They seemed cold and lifeless. Just as they were about the leave Jared stopped, hesitant to walk through the door, as if he'd forgotten something back at their booth. I held my breath, hoping he wouldn't turn to see me huddled in a booth, with red eyes and limp, wet hair. The moment passed and he too, walked out the door.

I stayed in the warm restaurant until 1:30, with my head in my elbow and hood up, trying not to cry. I left when the boy behind the counter told me 'unless you buy something, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.' Seeing as how nothing on the menu seemed appealing, I did exactly that.

Going outside my heart rate picked up as I anxiously looked around. Where was my bike? I let out an angry moan, and kicked a beer can on the side of the road. Someone stole my bike! Angrily I walked around the building, hoping to see it around each corner I took. About to reach the front of the building, I slipped on a piece of ice, landing on my butt. Tears pricked at my eyes and before I knew it I was full out crying. Pulling my knees into my chest I cried, because I was hurt, my bike was stolen, and because no one was coming to get me. I was alone.

Deciding I'd had enough of sitting and doing nothing, I got up as tears continued to fall down my face, and I walked. Aimlessly I marched through the town of forks and cried, internally begging for someone to find me and take me to a warm place with a soft bed and hot chocolate. I didn't cross paths with anyone. By 3:30a.m. I'd decided I'd had enough of the cold, and I turned to head back to the reservation. While home wasn't the place I wanted to be, at least it was shelter from the cold wind that had picked up. My tears finally stopped, replaced by the sound of my chattering teeth.

Sluggishly I walked, and walked, and walked. By 4:00, I'd made it halfway home, and the first vehicle I'd seen since I left last night drove by, headed into forks. They didn't get very far before slamming on the breaks. The red from the break lights the only kind of light for miles. If someone were to hurt me, I doubt I'd ever be found. My heart rate picked up as the blue truck turned around to drive beside me, on the wrong side of the road, might I add. My breathing was laboured, and a million thoughts flashed through my mind as the truck idled closer.

I kept my eyes glued to my feet, a my heart rate sped up. People in forks were generally nice, but you could never be too carful about running into a creep.

"Hey! Girl!" I picked up the pace, starting to run, at the sound of a mans voice. I was in trouble and i knew it. My shivering was now joined with nervous shakes.

"Kim, right?" I looked up at the sound of my name, to see Sam Uley, staring at me with tired eyes, and I nodded In relief, stopping and taking a deep, shuddering breath. My hands going to my face as the fear faded away, leaving adrenaline rushing through my veins.

"Sorry to scare you. Can-Can I give you a ride home?" He asked. I looked up for the first time in three hours, noticing where I was. I still had quite a ways to go before I reached my house. I nodded, and from the corner of my eye I saw a familiar object in the ditch.

"My bike!" I said surprised before glancing at Sam and running into the ditch to pull it out of a bush. I was shocked. How did it get all the way out here? Idiot teenagers.

"Do you want me to load it into the back?" Sam asked awkwardly from the window of his truck.

"Uh-" I cleared my hoarse throat. "No thanks. It's a piece of junk anyways." I said in a monotone voice, trying not to cry again.

Climbing back up the slope, I slipped and Sam jumped out to help me out and into his Truck. I sighed in relief, as the truck cab provided shelter from the wind. When Sam got back in, the temperature also rose. I gave him my address and then we settled into silence.

Ten minuted into the drive, he spoke again.

"You were in the burger joint earlier today."

"Erm-yeah. Yes, I was. I saw you there. You were with Jared Cameron."

"That's right. Did you happen to hear anything about our conversation." I was tempted to lie about eavesdropping, but I was trapped in this massive mans vehicle, and I didn't want to face his wrath if he found out I'd lied.

"I did, but most of it didn't make any sense."

"Well what exactly did you hear?"

"Sam, did someone close to you get hurt or something." Sam visibly relaxed, before tensing up again.

"Um, yeah, do you know Emily Young?" I nodded. I knew of her, but we'd never met.

"She was mauled by a bear the other day, and I'm afraid it was my fault. She is currently in the forks hospital. We were visiting her before you saw Jared and I getting food, that's actually where I was heading before I picked you up."

"Is she alright?" I said worriedly.

"Yeah, she'll be alright. I'm just worried she won't forgive me."

"Sam, you decided to pick up a strange girl from the side of the road because it's the middle of the night, because you, probably, thought it would be the right thing to do. You also sound like you're madly in love with Emily. If she can't see how much you care about her then she isn't worth your time, because someone would have to be super dense or stupid to not notice your compassion for her. Even I know you love her just from the way you talk about her, and what do I know of love? I've never even had a boyfriend!"

"Thanks Kim, you're a good kid. And if you ever need anything just let me know. Maybe next time you decide to wonder around late at night because of...?" He waited but I was unable to answer him. "Just, what ever is going on in your life, give me a call and I'll take you someplace safe, okay?"

I felt tears in my eyes again. "I really don't want to talk about why I was out so late, but thank you Sam, it means a lot that you care." He nodded in understanding before handing me a card with his phone number on it as we parked in my driveway.

I smiled at him before getting out into the cold night again.

"And Sam," he stopped to look at me. "I'm sure Emily will forgive you, and, although I don't know the nature of your relationship, she'd be a fool to turn you down." He smiled a genuine smile at me, his face lifting and for the first time that night, looking his age, before I slammed the door and I waved him good bye. Once he was gone I ran into the house, as leaving the warm truck cab and stepping into the cold had jump started my shivering, and reminded me of my numb fingers.

Stepping through the front door and into the kitchen, my eyes automatically scanned for the cash that had been on the table. It was gone. I also noticed that my mothers vehicle wasn't in the yard, but my Dads was.

Walking to go upstairs, I paused as an out of place light caught my eye. There was a fire in the fireplace! I didn't even know we had wood to burn.

I basically ran to the fire, my fingers numb and teeth still chattering. Pushing against every instinct I had, I took off my outer layer of clothes, so the heat of the dying fire would warm me faster. I fell asleep next to that fire, and for the first time in months, I was warm for the rest of the night.

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_Thanks for reading! Reviews make me super happy, so please leave one! What did you guys think of Sam and Kim having a one on one? I feel like there could be a really good friendship there in the future. Don't forget to R&amp;R!_

xCCx


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